Principles about boundaries

Boundaries are expression of respect

Boundary help maintain a mutual respect and an agreement with yourself and other people.

Boundaries help avoid unnecessary drama.

Sometime boundaries can be too harsh. But almost all boundary are expression of #love in the sense that they tell the other person how best to deal with the situation.

If someone communicates their boundary, they probably want to talk to you.

Boundaries aren’t always mutual

aka in a relationship of any kind between two people, you can have X boundary the other can have Y boundary.

Different for different people

You’ll set different boundaries for different people. And it has to be that way else everything is prioritized too high or too low.

For family, boundaries are small.

For collegues, boundaries are bigger.

For example, you don’t need to feel super sad for offending someone at work over work reasons.

Healthy Boundaries

Don’t lose yourself

If you are loosing yourself for someone else, it isn’t right. It’s not right for you and it’s not right for the other person.

You cannot make someone trust you. You can show your values/attributes and then hope that they see them too.

You cannot force a relationship. You can build them.

Express your boundaries in a healthy way

Instead of lashing out. Express your boundary in a healthy way.

Don’t cross someone’s boundary

Kabhi boundary par maat jaana ¹

You may negotiate honestly over a boundary but don’t cross it.

Don’t try to change someone’s perception too much

It’s isn’t worth it. People are weird and you are too. No one has enough information.

Learn to live and let live.

Plus, people who have a tendancy to try to go and fix the world should try to clean up their rooms first.

Austin Lewis ↩