Strategies to be Calmer
Learn to be calmer and neutral
As soon as you catch yourself getting overly emotional. Go neutral.
Aim for no high no low. For moments at a time.
Once you become neutral, you are in 50% better state to make a good decision.
Think about what made you particularly high or low:
- Was it because someone allows you to cry and listen to your sad life where you avoided responsibility?
- Was it impression of someone?
Go neutral in thise situations.
Choose your battles wisely
Recognize what you are giving a fuck about. Is it really worth giving a fuck about?
Is it a good value? is it something external?
Does it even align with your values?
You aren’t running a race. Take things slow and steady.
This is easier to remember that to actually do it in practice. Slow down.
Go very slow. Remember, slow is smooth. And smooth is fast.
Don’t rush from one thing to the next to the next. Take pauses.
Habit of rushing is a dirty high.
Learning to let things wait
You don’t have to answer notification right there.
Reflect on moments you got worked up or where someone else got worked up. Was it worth the fight.
If you don’t know what to say. Calm down. Maybe take a break. And then tell the truth truthfully and in a good way.
Become neutral. Aim to be non-reactive to threats on any kind be it people, events, realizations or situations.
Calm down and thing.
Explore and eliminate insecurities
Insecurity is chasing the impossible.
Insecurities come from unrealistic expectations. If you are someone productive, you can’t expect to be good at 20 other things. specially if 15 of those things are stupid.
Ask yourself, are you insecure or someone made you insecure? Was it a person, advertisement, advice, etc.
Remember: Insecurity = Someone is trying to sell you something.
A practice to do is, question every ad.
- Does it make sense.
You become more secure when no one can sell you anything.
Asking logical questions is a good way to eliminate insecurities.
Example 1 Living in a different city: If you are being told to get out of your city to live in some other place? you can view this two ways, why are you asked to get out of city? Is it because other people feel they are making a better choice? Does there choice align with your values or are they having a better value? Are they actually making a better choice? Can this be tested someway?
Example 2 Rejected: You got rejected. Now you feel you suck. You lack something that everyone has. Why? Because it seems that everyone is doing something, getting married, talking to someone, traveling, etc. And here you are alone and lonely. How many people do you know who are normal and single? What was the reason you were rejected? How common is rejection? Did Mark Manson or someone you look up to get rejected? Aren’t use in a community of normal, very normal people that got rejected? Can you be rejected for the wrong reasons? If Mark Manson or someone else got rejected, how much do they suck? Isn’t rejection a normal part of life?
- Aim to calm down and go neutral
- Recognize your blessings
Meditate regularly. 3 times a week minimum.
Break things down with logic
- Is it really that bad?
Start noticing what happened. Does it feel the same after an hour. Or after a day. Etc.
If it starts feeling different, your calibration is off.